< p i n g u 1 n o s p a c e >

{7.28.2025}

>what happened to me?

>why can't i ever feel happy anymore?

>is this part of growing up?

>i don't want anyone's help

>i don't want to be a slave

>i want to be free from myself and all physical things in this world

this isn't fair<

why did i decay like this?<

i can't find comfort in people<

will there ever be any hope?<

>ever since i became sick i haven't been the same

>at times i feel like i'm melting

>at other times my body feels like there is nothing within it supporting the outside

>don't you know what i'm talking about?

of course you don't!<

why would you decay the way i have?<

why would you lose comfort in others?<

of course there would be hope!<

>i am in constant argument with myself, from the moment i wake up to the moment i fall asleep

how lucky you are! to have no noise within that skull of yours!<

>my body feels like it's made out of hot lead

>the only thing keeping me upright is the thin wire of will i have left

{7.29.2025}

>how would i ever feel alive again?

>my attitude changed silently over months until i finally had time to realize it

>i was so tied in my work that i never realized i'd been changing my thinking all along

>is there a way to system reset my mind?

>too much goes on in my head, and still nothing gets done

too much goes on in my head, and still i can't get it across to anyone, even if i tried<

i haven't been able to make friends for years, and i think it has finally gotten to me<

all i can do is think now<

all i do is think about the people i want to know<

i can only fantasize about what my life could be<

it's all useless, because there is no pause to everything that's happening around me<

i will be writing like this, and others will continue what they do, and i will become ever more distant<

even if i had everything in the world, what happiness would that bring me?<

>that will give none